On Days Like This I Do
by morganville101
Summary: Lila didn't want to marry Charlie. Lila didn't want his kids, his dragons, his power, or his protection. And she definitely didn't want to fall for him. She just wanted her own life. A/N: My spin on the Marriage Law prompt.


** _Hi guys! This is my first fanfic in awhile that actually has a plot. It's not meant to be a work of creative genius or anything, but I felt like writing it and thought maybe someone would want to read it. I know that I'm kinda beating a dead horse, but this is a spin on the Marriage Law prompt that's been popular lately. My writing is fueled by favs and reviews, so if you want to see more please do one of the two! _**

_**Thanks and happy reading, **_

_**Morganville101**_

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The sweater was more of a formality than anything else. One could call it a costume, something that she was wearing just so that people wouldn't gawk at her lack of layers. The girl's purpose in being outside among the frost and fallen leaves was not to be warm and comfortable. It was to be frozen like a tall blond Push- Pop, to feel nothing but cold. In the cold it was all she knew, all anyone else knew either. She was alone, perfectly and completely alone.

And she needed it.

She focused on nothing else but the then and now, that moment. The frigid wind blew steady on her back from atop the playground's faux crow's nest. The thin metal beneath her back was slowly thawing and making her jeans damp. Geese from the man made lake nearby made the occasional squawk. Every few moments her skin would erupt in a fresh garden of goosebumps. There was a slight stiffness in her knee from sleeping on it odd the night before. Her sweater smelled nice, like Tide pods and her new perfume.

The girl sighed, spewing a volcanic cloud of breath, fickle and gone in a second. Just like her prospects for a normal, happy life.

Damn. Her plan didn't work. The cold couldn't make her forget. It was better than her stuffy dorm at least.

But then again she should be spending more time there, breathing it all in. Her loud roommate. The smell of burnt popcorn. The feeling of sleeping in a bed six feet off the ground. The constant thumping and music and life. She should appreciate it while she still has it. But she can't bring herself to. All she can think about is how tomorrow will be the end of two people's lives, one of them being hers. The girl stayed out there like that, flat on her back in the frost and staring at the dim little white stars above until her extremities were achingly cold and her jeans had frozen into the play set itself. She only decided to go back to her dorm because, while extremely upset, she wasn't quite ready to die, least of all of hypothermia.

Her bed felt herder than usual, smaller. Her covers felt cheaper and thinner. Her half of the room seemed more messy. It seemed that all she had done was make her perspective of the situation worse. To make herself feel better, she burrowed deep into the polyester fortress of her bedding, fully clothed, and began creating more meal plans. She was an avid counter of calories, as more of a coping mechanism than anything else.

She had always been a bit pudgy, and tall to boot, until she developed an eating disorder in high school. It took over her life, made her incapable of any thoughts that weren't food or weight related. She had finally become the weight she always wanted at five hundred calories a day, the equivalent of a fully dressed turkey and cheese sandwich. Not that she had allowed herself sandwiches at that point. That weight wasn't enough for her, though, and she kept reaching lower and lower until she had to be hospitalized. She still had the scars on the inside of her elbows from all those needles and a permanent iron deficiency from only eating fruit and vegetables. But now she was a twenty pound heavier, mostly healed college student whose brain couldn't decide if it though she was fat or skinny. She looked different every time she saw herself. Sometimes it depended on the day, sometimes the hour or minute or second. She did all sorts of things to make herself feel better about it, but the most most helpful activity was counting calories. More specifically, outlining her days by calories regimented meals. The notepad app on her phone was absolutely stuffed with such plans.

If her mother knew that she was doing it she would kill her.

But, then again, her mother was already going to kill her for what she was about to be forced to do.

The girl didn't even realize that she was falling asleep until she awoke to the sound of someone knocking on the door to her dorm. Thankful that she had worn her clothes to bed but quizzical as to why someone would be knocking at four o'clock in the morning, the girl shimmied down her bed and, clutching her sweater close to her body, opened the door.

"Hello?' She asked, her voice slightly rough from disuse, At the door to her dorm were two tall, intimidating men in long, dark coats. One had brilliantly red hair, the other a very messy light blond mop.

"Lila Smith?" The fair-haired one asked gently, giving her a once-over. There was no heat in his gaze, so she wondered what he was looking for. Injury? A gun?

"Yes, that's me." She had a bad hunch as to what this was about.

"We are aurors Rewter and Weasley. We are to….erm…. collect you." Lila quickly looked back at her roommate, who had surprisingly not stirred. "You needn't worry. We've cast a silencing charm. No one can hear us but you. May we come in?"

"Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, It's just that I wasn't expecting you until a little later this morning." She said, fidgeting as they saw her completely unpacked, slightly messy dorm.

"Yes, sorry 'bout that. We just thought the earlier the better, for security reasons."

"Of course, of course. I'll get to it then." Still a bit bleary, Lila stumbled toward the bags and suitcase that she'd set aside when she learned of her fate yesterday.

"I can make this far more efficient for you, if you'd like?" Weasley asked from a few feet behind her.

"Uh, sure."

Suddenly all of Lila's things were swirling, folding, condensing in the air and packing themselves neatly into her bags and carriers. Within minutes all of Lila's possessions we neatly at her feet. She suddenly found herself wishing that she'd denied the man's offer and done it herself, just to have more time to absorb. Now there were no excuses to procrastinate, nothing to keep her in her own world any longer. Except maybe one.

"Before we leave, do you mind if we grab some coffee? I won't stay awake otherwise." She asked them quietly trying to tuck her spirit and self deep within to protect it from what would soon happen. The two men shared a hard look.

"Quickly," Rewter finally said, seizing most of the bags in his arms while Weasley took the rest, except one beat up shoe box. Her box of notebooks, full of all her stories and poetry, along with a few of her dad's unfinished works. To be the one holding it gave her more comfort than the thought of coffee.

"Come along, Ms. Smith, we have a car that we'll be taking to the apparition point." Lila had no idea what 'apparition' was, but nodded along and followed anyway. It wasn't like she had a choice. She had promised herself to maintain her dignity and not go kicking and screaming.

3Ila followed the two men back into the frigid autumn air, even colder in the near-morning than it was late the night before. Her sweater, although thick, was not nearly warm enough. Her fingers, bare and clutching her heavy notebook box, were the most heavily afflicted.

"Bloody hell! I'll be happy when we're back in the UK. Doesn't get nearly this cold there, does it?" Weasley grunted to Rewter.

"It gets colder than this. We get advisories sometimes." Lila didn't know how she was talking about the weather in a situation like this, but it just fell out of her mouth. Like she could trick her own brain into normalcy.

"Seems it really _is _all about extremes here, eh Weasley?" Rewter chuckled, getting a laugh from Ron. A mocking laugh. They were making fun of her whole country because it was a bit nippy out. How childish. Nonetheless, embarrassment made her eyes water a bit. She coughed to make them go away.

The car that she was lead to was a little black Chevy Cruise, probably the most nondescript car in existance. It was the make and model of her mother and father's car, along with probably half of Missouri as well. Most likely this was on purpose, but the reminder of her family didn't sit well. She didn't want any similarities between her memories. She wanted a clear cut before and after, a good time and a bad time. No gray area. That didn't stop Rewter and Weasley from quickly loading her stuff into the trunk, upsetting her a bit more, only allowing her to keep the box with her upon asking. It was with more than a little hesitation that she climbed into the new-looking back seat.

The whole car smelled of something spicy and electric. Was this what magic smelled like?

"Alright, than, where's the nearest shop?" Rewter asked from the driver's side.

"Depends." Lila said quietly, trying to calm her racing heart and suddenly feeling very small in this car with two strange men from a strange world.

"On what?"

"How much you wanna pay for it."

"Don't you have a favorite shop?" Weasley interjected.

"Yes, but if we're in a hurry and not wanting to spend money then we shouldn't go." Lila was avoiding the question and she knew it. She clutched her sweater closer to her again, then tucked her knees up under it so that she could hug them.

"I think it should be your choice, considering." Rewter said a bit more gently. Lila rested her head against the cold, hard window for a moment, closing her eyes.

"All due respect, but I think that if I start actually having a choice in this situation I may lash out. Keep me feeling powerless and I'll be quiet."

Weasley and Rewter, upon glancing, seemed very uncomfortable at this. _Good_, Lila thought.

"Starbucks is a thing here. Lets just pop there and be on our way." Weasley muttered after a pregnant pause, mostly to Rewter.

"Did you remember the muggle money?"

"Yeah."

"Good, 'cuz I fancy a croissant. Coffee shops here have croissants, right?" Rewter asked, and it took Lila longer than it should have to realize that he was talking to her.

"Er, yeah. They have all sorts of things."

"Good. Do you know which way?" Rewter was pulling up close to the exit of the campus.

"Left, then it'll be on the right. You won't miss it."

Rewter drove with the jerkiness of a permit driver, but never made Lila feel unsafe. Both men kept up an easy banter that suggested they were friends even outside of work. They tried to make her laugh a few time, but the most she ever did was crack a very weak smile.

The smell of coffee and chocolate that flooded into the car from the drive-thru window was heavenly. It smelled like late nights studying and Sundays with her mom. It smelled like comfort. It didn't belong in this situation.

"Welcome to Starbucks, how may I help you?" The girl at the window asked, her half-shaved green hair blowing in her face a bit. She was in one of Lila's classes, her name was Mary-Rebecca.

Lila was normally very reserved, but she felt a strange urge to say hello. She fought if back.

"Wotcher. Can we have a chocolate croissant, a large latte..." Rewter trailed off and turned to Weasley.

"I'll try a cold brew, bit a cream. A little one. And a bagel, if they have it." Rewter repeated his order and then turned back to Lila.

"Just a grande flat white, please." Despite her obsession with food and maximizing calories, Lila was so afraid that she doubted she'd even finish it.

Rewter repeated Lila's order, and, before she could offer her debit card, pulled out a huge wad of bills.

"Will this cover it?" He asked. Mary-Rebecca looked like a deer in the headlights for a moment, then regained her composure.

"It's just $22.13, sir."

"Alright, er, do I need more?"

"No! No. Um, just one twenty and, like, a five." Rewter seemed very confused. Lila took pity on both of them.

"The numbers are on the bills." Lila said, then pointed out the correct money to him.

"Oh, right. Here you are." Mary-Rebecca seemed well and truly flustered by the time she sent them to the next window.

"I right botched that one. Muggles should switch to knuts and galleons."

"It's alright, mate. You only made an idiot of yourself. No hard feelings." Rewter thwacked Weasley solidly over the head, then gave him back the wad of cash.

"You pay next time, arse."

"Just taking the piss."

"I'm sure you were."

Suddenly it was too much. They were so lighthearted. It was like they weren't stealing a girl away from her home forever, yanking her away from her degree, career, family. Lila felt sick, and the car was suddenly too small, too warm. She couldn't breathe.

She was having a panic attack.

"I-I need out." Lila murmured, breath coming in gasps and her body going hot then cold. "I need out of the car. I need out. I NEED OUT!" She screamed, making the two in front of her jump and become very tense. She couldn't breathe, she was going to die. She was going to die. She was going to pee her pants, vomit, and die. Weasley started fumbling about in his pockets for something.

"Damn, they told us this could happen but I didn't really think it would." Rewter muttered, voice strained, then pulled a vial of pinkish greenish fluid from his coat. "Drink this."

"I-I can't. Oh my god I'm gonna throw up. I can't breathe. There's no air." Lila clutched the edge of the seat with white knuckles.

"It will make everything better, I swear it." Rewter said gently, looking her straight in the eye. Lila was shaking like a leaf when he took her hand and put the vial in it.

"Drink it slowly now, but get it all." Rewter mumured, but Lila's hand was shaking too bad to bring it to her lips. Both aurors looked panicked.

"I-I can't breathe. Please." Lila hated panic attacks.

"Weasley."

"Right." Weasley lept out of the car, slammed the door, then slid in the back seat with her. The small wave of cold air helped infinitesimally.

"You're alright, love, you're alright." Weasley took the vial, tilted Lila's head back, and poured the liquid into her mouth. It tasted like cinnamon cookies and warm milk. It immediately started helping, but she was still shaking.

"I'll stay here, alright?" Weasley said gently, and Lila nodded. A couple tears dribbled down her cheeks. Rewter quickly got their purchases and sped off.

"I just want my mom. That's all I want." She whispered. Weasley sighed and ruffled his hair.

"How's about you try and sleep? You can cover up with my cloak, I'll wake you when we arrive." He said, draping the thick black material over her. Lila already felt her eyes drooping, so she didn't argue. They probably gave her some kind of magical sleep thing.

Her head slumped against Weasley's shoulder, then fell to his lap. She felt herself drifting. Her mom was still on her mind, laughing in the kitchen when Lila sole the cookie dough bowl or yelling at her for not taking her medicine. She loved her mother, so much.

"There we are, just sleep."

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_**Like it? Hate it? As I said, I'm fueled by reviews. I'll post chapter two this time next week. Until then, my lovelies.**_

_**P.S. (Yes, the title is from where you think it's from)**_


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